Against my Feelings

A rush of emotions went down her throat,

She couldn’t understand why they wanted to float…

They asked her to release them, to breathe life outside her,

She laughed and said it was but just a moment of spur.

She took them out, showed them around…

And as quietly as she shut them back in her world,

They screamed, they cried, and they hurled.

They said they would rebound,

That a way should be found,

To lure her, to cure her,

To have her live her life w/o any err.

And she took her chances, and she played the game,

She went in and in came the rising flame.

Sudden urge of holding him tight,

Sudden urge of doing everything right,

Wishing he understood, wishing he cared

She stood for while until he disappeared…

With a heavy heart and sadness,

She decides to be free and let go of the madness.

It’s best to not feel (she felt)

And this way she refused to deal.

A heart already had a stain

Who refused to live any other pain.

She got back living in the inner apartment of her heart,

Closed and shut from the start…

They would rise again, she knew,

How she would fight them, she didn’t have a clue.

She now waits, watches her door,

Next time they come, she'd know: if to let them win or keep them ashore.

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The destiny is far away

Where dreams cannot sway,

Desires wait long under the shades of tree

Spell comes and goes

Taking away the sun which had once shone,

Compassion is all I get,

Engulfed in pain,

I pass through a gloomy lane,

No one can see the storm in my pacific heart,

Each moment it melts,

Each moment it dies,

When it sees two hearts happily in paradise,

You’re becoming an illusion now,

For I am like a fading star,

Shining from a sky-made just a little bit too far.

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Deep in the darkness of this void I stand,

Waiting, waiting for something that never comes,

I may get engulfed in it,

I may get buried,

For here I was left,

Somewhere in the middle of somewhere,

Dark night, broken lamps, empty roads,

Calling me from here is my own voice, is my own soul,

I look back; I see a shadow,

I look ahead, I see my pain,

Screams of silence follow me around,

I tried to run away,

It followed me everywhere.

Tears trickle down w/o a cause,

Life now seems to have come to a pause,

But I stay silent, waiting…

I stay without words, waiting…

I stay in outside peace with a churl of un-understood emotions inside me...waiting...

It's a conflict of mind. It's a conflict of heart. It's a conflict of my soul.

But I wait; wait for something, something to give me hope.

And so I wait with my hope dangling on a rope.

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You left me with a voice that is like an empty bed beside you all night long,

Like an empty house when you open the door.
Like the trees in autumn with no leaves.
The sound of my love that will always come to you and whisper
Like the birds flying south and crying.

Like the November wind and the sea on the hard core shore.

I am a sound that is so alone that no one can miss it,

that whoever hears it will weep in their souls and hearts will seem warmer.
I'm a sound that whoever hears it will know the sadness of eternity and briefness of life.


I'm a place where you bury yourself in sleep and memories of a world where there were thousands like you but you're alone, all alone in a world not made for you, a world where you need to hide.


I saw it all, I knew it all.
That was my mistake.
For years waiting for someone to come back who never came back.
The years of isolation in the insanity of time were darker than hell.


That's life! Someone always waiting for someone who never comes home.
Always someone loving something more than that thing loves them.
And after a while you want to destroy whatever that thing is or its memories so that it doesn't hurt you anymore.
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Both of us are crying,
May be I am lying,
But still my heart is sighing.


Why did you and I meet?
We both should have stopped this plan of deceit.
What phase was I going through,
To play a game that wasn't true.
I was a loser, I had to lose,
Unlike before, I had to choose.
Your happiness today or your happiness tomorrow.
For both, I got a tinge of sorrow.
Your tomorrow would be better than now,
Don't make me cry, don't ask me how.


This was my chosen fate,
This is where i cannot be late.
I know I have been mean,
But with me, you'll only see a gloomy scene.


Our journey is ending,
No, I am not pretending.
Don't ask me why,
But now is the time I have got to say goodbye.